The Guilt

Shruti just reached Mumbai from Goa.She was very excited about going out with friends.It's her birthday and so they all planned to go on outing with friends.Shruti was very excited about it.She called her all friends.Then she suddenly remembered that she forgot to call Alka.When she phoned Alka.Alka just didn't pick up her mobile.She thought that she just visit Alka and talked to her.When she saw all her friends were coming towards her.She looked at the watch.It was too late to call her.So she just carried on.They all were enjoying it.The scenery was wonderful.They were sitting in the trees.Priya"So What are your plans now?"Shruti"I will be joining the Shoot tomorrow.""Wow that's great!There is so much work load.After you left the shoot was literally stopped.""I know.That's why I decided to join on shoot early.""So you are feeling well now.""Yes of course."But what happened to you?Actually when you fall sick,I was on vacation.Then there were rumors that you are mad by shock."After hearing this Shruti was shocked.She always hated Priya because she was gossip and taunt queen.But this was too much.She was just sick because exhaustion.That why she was sent to hospital.Before she could answer her.Her mom came that moment.Mom"Shruti honey,what are you doing?where is your suncream?Now don't get too much tan.It will harm you in your continuation of shoot.""You are right mom."After saying it.Shruti went inside her van.But before entering in she told her mom"Mom I want to van to be taken at Alka's house."Now her mom and Priya both were looking at her with shocked expression.Finally Priya talked "I think it's not right time.Alka's family had left from their house already."Her mom"Yes.When they come back,you may go and apologizes."There was tears in mom's eyes.She left from that place to avoid further talking.But Priya was looking at her in strange way. Shruti just didn't understand why her mom got such emotional?She just forgot to phone Alka and Alka left the city.It was not a big deal in Shruti's eyes.It was not compulsory to call Alka.Shruti actually didn't like Alka's drinking habits at all because of which Alka went many times on picnics without Shruti.Shruti entered in her van and started applying her sun cream.Then she suddenly noticed cabinet full of drinks.It had many bottles of various wines, cans of beers etc.She was very angry to see this.She was about to call her mom.Then she got better ideas.She throw away all the alcohols out of her van.When she began to throw away all her friends began to look at her in strange way.She screamed loudly"I don't want any of this stuff in my van.If any one want to drink keep it inside their van not in my van."Then she closed her door with bang.All her friends and her mom were looking at her in confused way.But they didn't say anything so she went inside.
        Next day on shoot she was very fresh.Just by going there she felt that she was back to her life.Everyone was happy to see her.Whole day she had to shoot continuously.In her absence work was stopped.She was shooting for many hours so that all work should be completed.Then her secretary came near her.Secretary"Mam,What do you like to drink?""One glass of orange juice.""With what?""I don't want snacks.I will eat my dinner directly."Her secretary was confused.Suddenly her co actor interfered "Shruti he was asking about your hot drink.""I never drink."After seeing her angry response her co actor just went away from there.But all unit had already heard her and they were looking at her in strange way.Then shot got ready and they continued with their work.From the picnic she straight went to shooting.But when she finally finished her backlog,Director was so happy with her that he gave her two days off.When she went inside her flat,she saw that her mom made every thing ready for her.Her salads were on tables and her clothes were also taken out.She was very happy to notice that her mom cared for her.Then she suddenly noticed that more papers were dropped on floor instead of dustbin so she went to dustbin.When she opened it,she received shock of her life.It was full of empty bottles of drinks.She didn't understand for whom were these bottles kept.She was very upset.But she was tired to think about it.She went to sleep in her bedroom.She didn't even eat her dinner.She was very upset about those bottles.As soon as she touched the bed,she fell asleep because of hard work.In her dream she was happily sitting in her car.She had a bottle of wine in her hand.She was drinking continuously and Alka was sitting beside her.Shruti and Alka both were drunk.The driver was driving her car.Suddenly Shruti ordered driver to stop the car.She told him that she wanted to drive.But the driver was not ready to give the car.Alka started laughing loudly.When the driver didn't stop the car.She started to pushing driver.Finally the driver stopped the car.Then suddenly she pushed driver out of car.Then Alka also sat beside her.She was driving very fast.Now Alka was trying to stop her.The driver was running behind her car.There was blood everywhere.Every thing turned red.After that Shruti screamed. When she woke up,she was sweating.All her clothes were wet.She thought that the dream was strange.She thanked her stars that she was living in separate flat.If her mom heard this screaming,she would have called whole town and a panel of doctor would have been examining her.She tried hard to relax her mind with funny thoughts.But today nothing was working the way she wanted.The impact of her dream was very strong.She felt as if it was true incidence.She started to think about her driver.She remembered that there was new driver.But that dream couldn't be true.She never drink any alcohol.She suddenly began to miss her father.He was her lifeline.She began to cry in frustration.
               At morning when she woke up,she casually asked about her old driver.Her servant told her that he had started a new shop and he settled in it.Before her servant could say something more her mom interfered and told her to go and wash dishes.Her servant hurriedly left the room.After hearing this Shruti was convinced it was just bad dream.But her mom's face was paled."Why were you asking about that driver?"Mom was trying hard to say it lightly.But there was tension in her voice.Shruti was now more confused.Shruti "Nothing Mom.I just a bad dream."Mom wanted to discuss the matter in details.But Shruti went away to gym.She wanted avoid the discussion on that dream.Her driver was okay."That means it is all dream."She was continuously saying this sentence to herself.As if by saying this she would prove that it was false because somewhere in her mind.She believed that it was true.She decided that she must talked to Alka to clarify this matter.Alka would never tell lies to her.
           For many days she tried to reach to Alka by phone.Every day she was suffering from same dream.She began to scare even to sleep.Slowly dark circles started appearing under her eyes.The makeup man was hiding them.But slowly director decided to talk to her.Director"Shruti what's wrong with you?""You don't like my work.May be I will practise for more time.""Shruti,you are doing your job properly.But look at your face and health.""You think I have to reduce some weight?"" Shruti.. Shruti ,I am talking about these dark circles.Are you sleeping properly?Is this happening because you suddenly quit the alcohol?you shall may be visit a doctor.He will suggest you proper procedure.You know sometimes drinking is not that bad.You just have to keep a control...""What are you talking about?I never touch a hot drink.""Are you all right?I think you shall have to visit your psychiatrist again.""What are you talking? Are you mad?I never drink and I never went to any doctor.Just stop this nonsense."After that there was a fight between Shruti and director.Finally her secretary came and forcefully took Shruti to home.
              When Shruti came home,her mom was already waiting for her.Shruti angrily"Mom who called you here?Shruti looked at her secretary angrily.But he was looking equally confused.Her mom"Don't look at him.Your director called me.Now tell me why did you show such tantrum for such small reason?""Mom!Small reason?He called me alcoholic.""So?""Mom don't you hear me?What I am telling you is he called..""I know,I know.You are trying to quit drinking.I will fully support you in your this decision.But all people will not be such supportive.You can't argue with everyone.""Mom are you saying that I am alcoholic?""No honey.I mean that you were alcoholic and now I can clearly see that you can quit alcohol.""No Mom.I never touch a drink."Shruti literally screamed on her mother.Now her mother and her secretary were shocked.Secretary"May I call the doctor?"After hearing him Shruti started throwing things.She slowly blanked out.
              When she woke up,she was sleeping on her bed.The doctor was sitting beside her.It was same doctor who treated her in Goa.Doctor"Shruti how are you?""Doctor,I was alcoholic and mad?""Shruti will you take it easy?""How do I suppose to take it easy?When all people were saying I am mad?""Come on Shruti you know how to handle it.These dogs usually just bark.They don't bite.""Please tell me what happened properly?""Well Shruti tell me.How much do you remember?""I remember that Dad went to deposit my money and some criminals robbed him and he died while trying to protect my money.Police brought this news...""Then you don't remember."Shruti nodded.Then her mom began telling her that story which she forgot."After your father's death you took in your mind.That it was your fault.You send him alone with money.But it's not true.It was not your mistake..""Mom now please tell me my mistakes."Mom slowly looked in her eyes.Then she started talking again."After that you increased your friendship with Alka and started adopting her habits.You began to drink everyday.It started first at evening after shoot with Alka.Then slowly from the morning till the night you always started having a glass in your hand.You were working properly so no one complained.Sometimes I tried to stop you.But in film industry such things were not big issue.I didn't take it that seriously which proved to be biggest mistake of my life.Then that accident happened.""I saw it in my dream."Shruti told them about her dream."So finally it is true.But that driver was alive so no one is died."Her mom was now crying.Finally Doctor told her."Your friend Alka died.That was her blood.After accident for many days you were sitting like a statue.It was post traumatic symptoms.Finally you came out of it.But you are not fully cured.You are suffering from Psychogenic amnesia.It can occur for commission of crimes particularly if the criminal feel extremely guilty about the crime.""If I have done drunk driving.Why I am out of jail?"Her Mom"because driver confess that the car went out of control by him mistake.Money can do many wonders.""So that was the reason he had his own shop.That is why Alka's family managed to shift so easily.How could I let it happened to me?"After saying this Shruti started crying.Shruti went ahead with her life.But in her mind she always saw her crime and a bottle of alcohol never in her home.


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